I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
