SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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