she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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