Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
