is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
