Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
