Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
