i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
