he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
