someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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