Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We named our party play list daddy issues
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
