We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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