It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize