Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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