I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize