"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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