i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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