He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
