drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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