He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
