Already got asked if we're dating
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
