i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
