idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize