covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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