you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
