just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
