I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize