Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
