gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
