She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
