lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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