see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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