I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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