So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just googled if crying burns calories
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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