i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize