The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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