Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
