Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
