My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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