don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
