i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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