You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
