im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
