just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
