At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
