I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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