My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
