My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
