Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
