I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize