My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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