Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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