they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
