i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
