the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
