he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
