Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
