Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize