I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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