ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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