Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
