Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
