ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize