Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
