I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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