Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Randomize
